i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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