If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize