it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
