just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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