I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize