do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
