She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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