My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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