hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
