Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Someone came in the potted fern
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
