Jerry, you need to find god
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize