some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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