Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
