Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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