But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
