am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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