Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
