yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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