Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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