i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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