If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So squirting runs in the family.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
