im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
