Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize