I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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