Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
