Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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