I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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