What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
