I want to walk on stilts...naked
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
