You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
