yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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