this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
