OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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