therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
