i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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