I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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