I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
