Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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