dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
