so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He? As in you personified your dick?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
