Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
