No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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