oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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