We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
