awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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