Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
