in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize