just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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