This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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