shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
