I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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