i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
