Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
