Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Did you go home with that guy without me?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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(630): View more from Illinois

just tell him i said nine months

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(914): View more from New York

I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.

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(903): View more from Texas

I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone

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(530): View more from California

that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible

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