i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
