I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
