Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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