Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
