This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
