Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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