You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You can't special order awesome
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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