There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
