Plan B is the new Plan A
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize