Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
