I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
