I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize