those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Someone signed my nipple.
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