Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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