I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
3pm strippers are depressing
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
