Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
