I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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