someone get that fucking seahorse.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize