I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
