i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
