problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
