we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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