Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
