we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
