I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize