You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
