i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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