I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize