He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
